The Friendzone

On the friendzone: 

We all know how much it sucks to get rejected. No one is denying that that hurts and/or is embarrassing, especially if you thought it was mutual. Feeling awkward or even deciding that it’s too painful to continue a friendship after is okay. That’s not the problem we (women in general) complain about. 

The guys we have a problem with aren’t the ones who have an innocent crush, find us attractive, want to have sex with us, flirt with us, etc. Every woman has a different level of comfort and will accept different levels of non-friend attention in a relationship, so this varies. Most of us have had crushes on friends. That’s pretty normal. That’s not what we’re talking about. 

Most guys who’ve had a physical/romantic interest in me (for an example) have hinted at it, felt it out verbally, maybe tried a little physical contact (arm around the shoulders, brushing arms, things like that). When they realize that I’m not interested they tend to drop it and we continue just as friends. Easy. 

The guys we take issue with are the ones who use friendship as the means to the end of getting in our pants. They’re the manipulative ones who think that they earn sex or a relationship by being “nice”. They go past harmless flirting and friendly banter and expect something in return for their attention. They feel that the relationship is more economic, in a sense: they give friendship and compliments in exchange for an emotional and/or physical attachment. These are the guys we complain about when we talk about “the friendzone”. We’re not discussing the legitimately nice guys who, for whatever reason, we don’t have a mutual attraction with. We’re specifically pissed off about the guys who try to use us, get pissed when they can’t, and/or ditch us when they’re done. They are self-centered, manipulative, inconsiderate, and immature. 

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One response to “The Friendzone

  1. Pingback: F*** the Friendzone | A Room of One's Own

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